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Qazî Mihemed'in Kürd Ulusuna Vasiyeti


Qazî Mihemed'in Kürd Ulusuna Vasiyeti

Zulüm ve baskı gören halkım!

Yüce Allah aşkına vaatlere artık kanmayın. Çünkü onlar ne Allah'ı tanıyorlar, ne peygambere, ne kıyamet gününe, ne Allah huzurunda hesap vermeye inanıyorlar. Onların nezdinde, Müslüman da olsanız, Kürt olduğunuz için suçlusunuz, onların düşmanısınız

Kurd li Misrê - Nezîr Silo


Kurd li Misrê - Nezîr Silo

Misr yek ji welatên ku herî peywendîdar bû ji demek dirêj ve di nav dewletên erban de bi Kurdan re.

D.Ali Küçük'ün Annesi Vefat Etti  


20-05-2011, 03:37 Kategori: Kadın  
Kurdistan-aktuel.org sitesi yazarı ve PKK eski Merkez Komite üyesi Dursun Ali Küçük'ün yıllardır göremediği annesini yitirdiğini öğrendik. Acısını paylaşıyor, merhumeye Allah'tan rahmet, yakınlarına sıbırlar diliyoruz.

kurdistan-post.ru


Dursun Ali Küçük arkadaşımızın annesinin vefatı ile ilgili yazıya dökebildikleri:

Anneme...

Dursun Ali Küçük

Anladım ki artık “yoksun”. 18 yaşında senden ayrıldım. Gidiş o gidiş. O zaman ben senin için yoktum. Sende benim için yoktun. Bir biçimde yoktuk. Sen kendi topraklarında ve ben farklı diyarlarda. Hem birbirimiz için vardık ve hem birbirimiz için yoktuk.


Bir kez Erzurum askeri cezaevinde görüşüme gelmiştin. Oğlunu soracaktın. Onuda cunta bırakır mı?


Görüş başladı sen benimle zone ma Zazaca konuştun. Ben anneme Türkçe konuşur muyum? Ben de Zazaca sana cevap verdim. Hal hatırımızı doğru dürüst soramadık.

“Türkçe konuş” dediler askerler. İyi ki ölene kadar inat edip Türkçe öğrenmedin.

Konuşma Zazacaydı, bir dakika sürdü ya sürmedi. Zazacada ısrar edince görüşü kapattılar. Bir daha da seni görmedim, ne de sen beni.



***

Anne, son yolculuğunda seninle yokum. Sen bizim topraklardasın ben yokum. O topraklar için kavga ettim. Ölü veya diri ama seninle olacağım. Bu da benim baştan beri sözüm. Seni yalnız bırakmam.

Ben zaten gitmiştim. En sonuncu oğlan bize kalsın dediniz. Erken yaşta evlendirmeye onay verdiniz. Ola ki O’da benim yolumu tutardı. Kızlar zaten evlenmişti. Sen ve babam yalnız kalacaktınız.

Netice de oda ceza aldı, yurtdışına çıkmak zorunda kaldı. Ben yokum, şimdi son yolculuğunda O’da yoktur.


Seni Avrupa’ya çağırdılar, gitmedin. “El alemin memleketine bu yaştan sonra gelip ne yapacağım” dediniz. “Ben yalnız da olsa burada kalacağım” dediniz.

İyi ya, haksız da değildin, Almanya’ya gidip ne yapacaktın... Yaşlılarımız gençlerimiz gibi bırakıp gidemiyor. Ömrünün son yıllarını doğup büyüdükleri ve yaşadıkları, tanıdık mekanlarda tüketmek isterler.


****
Askerler köyü boşalttılar. Babamla şehre göç etmek zorunda kaldınız. O yıllarda çok geçmeden babamı da kaybettin. Ben yoktum. Oğulların yoktu. Sen tek başına kaldın. Uzun yıllardır hastalıklarla uğraşıyorsun. Toprak seni çekiyordu. Bütün canlıların kaçınılmaz başına gelen ve yaşamın öbür yüzünü tatmak yıllar geçtikçe herkese nasip oluyordu.

Şehre gittin, inat ettin, Türkçe öğrenmedin. Sana hayranım.

En son internet üzeri kamaralı görüştük. Kız kardeşim sana anlatmak zorunda kalıyordu, duyamıyor ve göremiyordun artık. Fazla konuşmadın. Annelerin genel ve doğal yaptığı gibi yaptın: ağladın.


Konuşma bittikten sonra da kız kardeşime bir şeyler demiştin. Unutmam.

Demiştin ki; “Dursun Ali 18 yaşından sonra bana karışmayın, ben bildiğim gibi yaşarım ve farklı bir yol seçtim demişti"

Başka diyarlar da bulunmam ve yaşadığımız sorunlardan dolayı “de hadi hadi karışmayız kararını kendisi versin” gibisinden iğneleyici konuşmuştun.

Bu vb kardeşim söylediklerini bana aktardı. Merak etme farklı yaşadım. Ama seninleyim. Sana geleceğim. Toprak ana lafını boşuna söylememişler.

Ben yoktum ama seninleyim.


***

Duydum ki, Azrail’in gelip son nefesini almasını beklememişsin. İntihar edip yaşamına son vermişsin.


Anladım ki, sürünmeyi ve başkasına muhtaç ölümü beklemeyi artık kabul etmemişsin. Helal olsun sana anne….

Bu da onurlu bir davranıştır! Kim ne derse desin sana yakışmış doğrusu…


Ölümden korkulmaz. Korkulan başa gelir.


Anne, bende iki kez düşündüm intiharı. Birincisinde ayrışma yıllarıydı. Biriken sorunlarımızı çözmek istiyorduk. O an, uzunca bir mektup yazıp, intiharı tercih etmeyi düşündüm. Sorunlarımızın ağırlığını çözmeye ve anlamaya başladıkça vazgeçtim.

İkincinde Gürcistan’da tutuklu ve TC’ye verilmem gündemde iken düşündüm. Bu kez kararlıydım. Bir şeyi iki kez yaşamak istemezdim, aynı şeyi ikinci kez çekmeye dayanılmaz. Ve bunu da kitabımda yazdım. Kitap taslağında. Verilseydim, savunma yapacaktım ve “ceza” çekmeyecektim. Yaşamın anlamı kalmıyordu benim için. Neyse ki gerçekleşmedi.

Anne senin bunlardan haberin yok. Sen kararını kendi yaşadığın gerçeklik içinde vermişsin.


***

Anne sana borçluyum. Borcumu ödeyemedim. Seni son bir defa görmek isterdim. Ben sana gelemiyordum. Seninde bana gelecek durumun yoktu. Bu bana dert olarak kaldı.

Öte yandan düşünüyorum. Bir ben ve sen değiliz. Ülkemizde bolca ana var ve oğulları, kızları var aynı sorunları yaşayan.

Sen toplumumuza göre sade yaşadın. Bizde yerleşmiş bir kural var; “hep vereceksin”. Dar duruma düşen annelere yardımcı olan pek olmaz. Biliyorum senin böyle bir beklentin yoktu.

Hiç değilse oğullarına ve kızlarına beddua etmedin. Beddua edenlerin bazıları, bir kaçı şimdi baş tacı edilmiş, ellerini öpmek için sıraya girmişler. Ben birlikteyken de ayrılınca da biliyorum senin durumun aynıydı.


***
Çok şey söylemek isterdim. Yalnızım, hep dayandım. Dayanırım. Biraz ağladım. Sen yoksun artık, başka ne diyebilirim ki?

Toprağın bol olsun anne. Rahat uyu. Xızır her zaman yanında olsun!

To şia, ez mendo na dinara, hale ma sebe no, cı vaxt amune ez tora vaji…

dr.munzurali@hotmail.com


 
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